Talk About Jokes...

They must have gone with this title because Kathy Griffin already had "My Life on the D-List" trademarked.

Seriously, NBC. Don't insult our intelligence.

Fucking Amazing...

Duderino'll bet some asian dude did this. Asians are super smart. No American could ever think of, let alone execute a plan like this. Fucking MIT and shit.

PS - Duderino sincerely apologizes for the lack of posts recently. But it is football season. And law school season. And work season. So, umm, he'll do his best to keep this place up to date. But he can't guarantee any regularity. Condolences.

Inappropriate!

There's probably nothing worse than humidity. That shit can make 80 degrees feel like 8,000. And when you live in a densely populated, major metropolis in which everyone walks and seems to always take the same Subway line you take, that makes it even worse.

Thus, Duderino would give anything to be out in California right now...sipping a mojito, pondering some waves and listening to The Doors.

Oh, and theweatherchannel.com totally lies. There is definitely more than 57% humidity today. More like 97%...

/commence daydreaming...

Are You There, Senator McCain? It's Me, P Diddy...

"Alaska? You should've gotten Michelle Obama to be your running mate. Now, THAT would've been something strategic and fly."

Well played, Sir Diddy. Well played.

Inevitability...

It means that no matter where you are - whether it be in the Subway tubes, on the street, or in a car - someone will not know where they are going and prevent YOU from getting where you're going efficiently.

Guarantee this has happened to you at some point, somewhere.

Tonight - Watch Conan O'Brien!

Some of Duderino's friends from High School, The Spring Standards, are going to be the musical guests!

This is a great achievement for these three ruffians from Southeast PA/Northwest DE and Duderino is super excited for them. They've been kicking ass for a solid, I don't know, ten years at least, now. And clearly, they're kicking even more ass today!

Congrats to James, James and Heather. Duderino will be watching!!

/though our joint acoustic rendition of Green Day's Welcome to Paradise in James' basement may still be my fondest memory of these three...

Attn. Hipsters: Guard Your Black Eyeliner...

Apparently Williamsburg (the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood, not to be confused with the historic Colonial settlement) is the latest target in NYC violent crime, involving machetes and gang violence.

But this violence isn't directed at other gangs. Rather, these thugs are targeting the hemoraging hipster population of this "artsy" community.

So Duderino asks - who HASN'T thought about taking a machete to some hipsters?

Nothing more annoying than people who go out of their way to be "indie." Look assholes, Duderino doesn't care about your two bit, "just about to make it" band just because it's "indie." He'd take even such mainstream staples as Green Day over some random noise emanating from a one room studio in the "hippest" neighborhood in NYC. As long as the melody is sweet, Duderino's listening.

Still, Duderino is willing to bet some great emo tunes will be written about this...let Duderino just get his box of tissues ready.

Seriously though, there is nothing funny about gang violence. So Duderino genuinely fears for these individuals.

And as for these thugs - for the record, Duderino definitely would target the Upper East Side first, for a combination of financial and philosophical reasons...

Must Have Item of the Day Century...

Ladies and gentleman, I give you - the 10th Anniversary Edition of the cinematic masterpiece which was the inspiration for this blog.

The film that spawned so much of Duderino's day-to-day idioms has found the most appropriate packaging ever.

Well played, someone (whoever came up with this gem).

Aw Mom, Just Five More Minutes...

The last three weeks have been great. But today, Duderino goes back to school.

No more Thursday happy hours. No more weekend road trips. No more fun.

So long free time, Duderino will see you in December.

Happy Friggin' Monday. You'll have to excuse Duderino if he isn't exactly enthused this morning.

A Blue Hen in the White House??

Duderino and newly announced Vice Presidential hopeful, Senator Joe Biden of Delaware, share something in common - they're both University of Delaware Blue Hen Alumni.

[Delaware, I know, get your laughs in now...there, you done?]

So you'd assume Duderino would have a soft spot for Barack Obama's potential second-in-command.

But unfortch, Duderino remembers his commencement all too well. Actually, Duderino wasn't physically in attendance during the ceremony. But he heard about it from all of his peers.

See, as Duderino commented on another blog this afternoon, Senator Biden made a big mistake as the honorable speaker that day.

Graduation is supposed to be an exciting time, full of inspiration and good feelings. All that warm, fuzzy stuff. You know, "on this day you go forth as adults...independent and strong...intellectually advanced and with a way higher tolerance for alcohol..."

But what, pray tell, did Senator Biden want to talk to Duderino and his fellow graduates about on this momentus occasion?

The Iraq war.

Seriously, his speech was about Iraq. On our graduation day.

/Duderino hopes he makes better choices on the campaign trail

Those Silly Bloggers...

Now, pardon Duderino's ignorance, but he's heard mainstream journalists say bloggers don't follow the "rules" of journalism numerous times. Yet he's never heard any inkling of what these supposed "rules" are.

If anyone can fill Duderino in on what these might be, he'd appreciate it. Because heretofore all he's known is, as with any employee, a journalist must adhere to the rules of the outlet for which he or she writes.

PS - in case you didn't gather, Duderino was NOT a journalism major.

Life Lesson of the Day...

To Whom It May Concern,
If you have to announce to the world every little thing you do, you're probably too insecure. Sort that out. Nobody likes a braggart.

Sincerely,

- Duderino

Poor Wardrobe Choices...

On his way to the PATH this morning, Duderino found himself in an interesting predicament.

See, he chose a white polo today to complement his jeans and awesomeness. But it seems at least two other dudes in Hoboken, NJ made the same choice, and were also walking to the PATH this morning around the same time. So Duderino was walking within 10 feet of at least two other dudes wearing white polos.

Consequently, he hasn't felt so Vanilla in quite a while. Good times on a Tuesday morning.

No More Beer, Please...

You know you're getting older when it takes you at least a week to recover from three consecutive nights of hard drinking.

Duderino used to live for three day benders. Now, they damn near kill him.

Ugh, coffee NOW!

Duderino On The Brink...

Today is Wednesday, which marks five days since Duderino last had internet access at home.

So this is what it's like to be Amish.

Somebody Call Al Gore...

Duderino is sans internets. Anyone with a direct connection to Mr. Interweb, feel free to solocit his assistance.

Duderino hates this blackerry...

Sign of The Apocalypse...

Duderino ran a Google search last night for the term "the brain."

And while he did get results about the actual human brain, he thought it was pretty interesting that the related search Google picked to highlight was "Pinky and the Brain."

You remember, the animated TV show from the early to mid 90's.

Pretty funny, huh?

F*#@ing Amateurs, Dude...

All too often, Duderino, who admittedly is no trendsetter himself, comments on the fashion choices of men and women in the greater Manhattan area. And inevitably, they're always bad.

So keeping this tradition alive, today Duderino offers you one more disturbing choice in apparel - Tennis shoes worn with a men's suit.

Now this originated with women. And it was perfectly acceptable in that form. Duderino doesn't know for sure, but he imagines that tennis shoes are much more manageable than heels for walking to and from the Subway and to and from work.

But then some men got hold of it, and that's where things went awry. See, there's no rational explanation for men to be wearing sneakers with a suit. Men's dress shoes aren't uncomfortable. At least not the ones Duderino wears.

So what gives?

They Were Nazis, Dude?

Hey, have you ever noticed there are a lot of angry people on the internets?

Duderino has too.

But it's not so much that they're angry, really. Duderino thinks it's more that this is probably their one chance to convey their unencumbered opinion about who should be the next American Idol and gosh darn it if they're gonna let someone else tell them that Clay Aiken is better than Ruben Studdard.

That's definitely it.

/Duderino is trying to be very dude today...

Those Are Some Good Burgers, Dude...

The Coors Light vented can.

Simply put - the best innovation in beer drinking this side of last week.

Duderino doesn't even like Coors Light. Actually, he thinks he'd probably be better off drinking anthrax. But frankly, if anthrax came pouring out of a vented can, Duderino'd probably happily drink that too.

/Coors Light flows like water...

...and tastes like it too.

Happy Monday you budding Nihilists, you.