August 28, 2008
Attn. Hipsters: Guard Your Black Eyeliner...
Apparently Williamsburg (the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood, not to be confused with the historic Colonial settlement) is the latest target in NYC violent crime, involving machetes and gang violence.
But this violence isn't directed at other gangs. Rather, these thugs are targeting the hemoraging hipster population of this "artsy" community.
So Duderino asks - who HASN'T thought about taking a machete to some hipsters?
Nothing more annoying than people who go out of their way to be "indie." Look assholes, Duderino doesn't care about your two bit, "just about to make it" band just because it's "indie." He'd take even such mainstream staples as Green Day over some random noise emanating from a one room studio in the "hippest" neighborhood in NYC. As long as the melody is sweet, Duderino's listening.
Still, Duderino is willing to bet some great emo tunes will be written about this...let Duderino just get his box of tissues ready.
Seriously though, there is nothing funny about gang violence. So Duderino genuinely fears for these individuals.
And as for these thugs - for the record, Duderino definitely would target the Upper East Side first, for a combination of financial and philosophical reasons...