May 7, 2008
I've filed a motion to have my preliminary hearing moved to Florida
What does this say about Florida? Stephanie Grissom paid a $310 fine and 3 points on her license for speeding and negligent driving. The fine stems from an incident in which Grissom struck and killed a police officer. Officer Scott Wheeler was working a speed enforcement detail when he was killed. He stepped out into the street to flag Grissom in, and was hit and killed. Here's the kicker, a grand jury declined to indict her on charges of Automobile Manslaughter. How in the world could a grand jury not indict her on charges of Vehicular Manslaughter? Here are just a few possible explanations.
1. Florida has the most sympathetic Grand Jury in the history of the world! Who on that panel thought to themselves, "Hey, I really don't think that this constitutes manslaughter"? Were they retarded? Was the grand jury replaced by monkeys? Were they all members of the same hippie commune? The previous question was intended as joke, and in no way is to be a interpreted as derogatory outlook on the social movement, and it's individual followers.
2. The District Attorney was incompetent. I have never claimed to be a lawyer, but I am pretty that I could convince a panel of pickled eggs to at least indict her. Perhaps the DA is the brother of Dr. Nick from the Simpsons??? perhaps they were just lazy. Either way this case would have made a better episode of CSI: Miami than Law & Order. That David Carusso can do amazing things.
3. Last but not least the depiction of Jeb Bush on Lil' Bush is not satirical, but a literal portrayal of Florida's Governor. If the head of your state is retarded I am positive that it certainly would have trickle down effect on those who receive appointments for their support.
The moral of this story kids is this: Take your case to Florida, and you won't even see trial!