February 19, 2008

An American Tale - Duderino Goes West...?

"Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard."
- Baz Luhrmann
Honestly, El Duderino has been getting really tired of the daily New York grind lately. Fighting people on the street, fighting people on the subway, fighting people in the bar. If you value personal space (or merit) like Duderino does, you can pretty much assume that Manhattan would make you want to stick a fork in your eye.

So El Duderino has all but decided to make a move out west to good ol' Southern California. Sure there's a shit load of traffic out there, and you have to drive everywhere, which obviously doesn't help. But overall I think Duderino could really benefit from a more relaxed environment in which people seem to be just as focused on enjoying life as they are on the day to day minutiae (of course this is a generalization and as we all well know, locale does not necessarily dictate attitude/personalities).

Anyways, Duderino has been weighing the pros and cons (strikes and gutters). So he thought he might share them with you, and get your opinion(s) on the matter.

Surfing is a daily optionDuderino doesn't know how to surf
The temperature never dips below 40 (it doesn't, right?)Duderino can't wear as many hooded sweatshirts
Mountains, wineries, beach, and Hollywood are all within driving distanceWould likely mean less Nintendo Wii for Duderino
Two words: Medicinal Marijuana...Still can't see how this is a bad thing
Duderino's dog will [probably] have plenty of room to run aroundDuderino's dog will sleep less
Ralph's sells alcoholic beveragesMight miss getting fucked in the ass by A&P's prices

In otherwords, I think the answer is clear...

Is there a Ralph's around here?


itdontmattertojess said...

Wow. Look at you rock out with Photoshop. Congrats on the skills, my friend.

El Duderino said...

What, no love for the HTML hard coded table?

itdontmattertojess said...


itdontmattertojess said...

Haha, I just noticed you quoted Baz Luhrmann's sunscreen song... Weirdo.