February 26, 2008
Turn My Red Carpet Up...
Ok, I admit that even mentioning the Oscars on here is being very undude, but we try not to limit ourselves too much. And let's face it, you were all definitely asking yourselves what Duderino and ItDontMattertoJess thought about the red carpet on Sunday. Good news for you - you're about to find out...let's begin, shall we?
#1 - Katherine Heigl
El Duderino: This dress is pretty loud...not gonna lie. Also, let the record show that she was the worst presenter ever.
ItDontMatterToJess: I love the red. It reminds me of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind. Also, it screams HARLET. Just kidding, Katherine. You look great.
#2 - Diablo Cody
El Duderino: You mean to tell me this chick used to be a stripper? No! Get right out of town! She totally looks like a respectable woman...or Wilma Flinstone.
ItDontMatterToJess:Seriously. We get it. You used to take your clothes off for money. And if you still want to take your clothes off for money... by all means, that's your prerogative, Mr. Brown. But show Oscar some respect. He turned 80 today, for Christ's sake.
#3 - George Clooney
El Duderino: I can only hope that I'm pulling tail like that when I'm 87. Bravo you ol' dog!
ItDontMatterToJess: Mmm, cloonalicious.
#4 - Marion Cotillard
El Duderino: What do you want me to say here that hasn't already been said about Ariel, the Little Mermaid?
ItDontMatterToJess: Unda da sea...
#5 - Tilda Swinton
El Duderino: Pass...
ItDontMatterToJess: Some of you may recognize Tilda from her role as "White (read: Ice) Queen" in the Chronicles of Narnia. What you may not of known is that Tilda's firery hair melted her land, thus forcing her to take the role of boring lawyer chick in Michael Clayton. Well done, Garnier. That doesn't explain the Hefty bag dress though...
#6 - Daniel Day Lewis
El Duderino: This dude fucking rocks. Generally I find that hoop earrings make a man look rather effeminate. But on this guy they look bad ass.
ItDontMatterToJess: TWO earrings?!? Party foul. I blame the dub earrings for the lowest Academy Award viewership in 30 years.
#7 - Jennifer Garner
El Duderino: I refuse to like anyone with any connection to Ben Affleck...
ItDontMatterToJess: Come on, let's not say anything bad about the woman who handled a red carpet-attack from Gary Busey with nothing but a look of sincere confusion and a smile. Congrats on finally starring in a decent movie like Juno, Jennay.
#8 - Cate Blanchett
El Duderino: Hands down, best pregnant performance of the night. Fuck Jessica Alba, she's not even really pregnant, it's all a sick joke (3rd trimester my ass).
ItDontMatterToJess: Too bad the plan to distract us from your preggers belly with the hideously overpowering colored neckline failed, Ms. Blanchett. A for effort though.
#9 and #10 - Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill
El Duderino: This act was way funnier when Danny Devito and The Governator did it in 1988.
ItDontMatterToJess: What Seth and Jonah forgot to mention was that they're trying out costumes for their next flick, Revenge of the Super Bad Jew Fros.
That is all for us.
Who were your best/worst dressed?