February 26, 2008

Turn My Red Carpet Up...

Ok, I admit that even mentioning the Oscars on here is being very undude, but we try not to limit ourselves too much. And let's face it, you were all definitely asking yourselves what Duderino and ItDontMattertoJess thought about the red carpet on Sunday. Good news for you - you're about to find out...let's begin, shall we?

#1 - Katherine Heigl

El Duderino: This dress is pretty loud...not gonna lie. Also, let the record show that she was the worst presenter ever.

ItDontMatterToJess: I love the red. It reminds me of Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind. Also, it screams HARLET. Just kidding, Katherine. You look great.

#2 - Diablo Cody

El Duderino: You mean to tell me this chick used to be a stripper? No! Get right out of town! She totally looks like a respectable woman...or Wilma Flinstone.

ItDontMatterToJess:Seriously. We get it. You used to take your clothes off for money. And if you still want to take your clothes off for money... by all means, that's your prerogative, Mr. Brown. But show Oscar some respect. He turned 80 today, for Christ's sake.

#3 - George Clooney

El Duderino: I can only hope that I'm pulling tail like that when I'm 87. Bravo you ol' dog!

ItDontMatterToJess: Mmm, cloonalicious.

#4 - Marion Cotillard

El Duderino: What do you want me to say here that hasn't already been said about Ariel, the Little Mermaid?

ItDontMatterToJess: Unda da sea...

#5 - Tilda Swinton

El Duderino: Pass...

ItDontMatterToJess: Some of you may recognize Tilda from her role as "White (read: Ice) Queen" in the Chronicles of Narnia. What you may not of known is that Tilda's firery hair melted her land, thus forcing her to take the role of boring lawyer chick in Michael Clayton. Well done, Garnier. That doesn't explain the Hefty bag dress though...

#6 - Daniel Day Lewis

El Duderino: This dude fucking rocks. Generally I find that hoop earrings make a man look rather effeminate. But on this guy they look bad ass.

ItDontMatterToJess: TWO earrings?!? Party foul. I blame the dub earrings for the lowest Academy Award viewership in 30 years.

#7 - Jennifer Garner

El Duderino: I refuse to like anyone with any connection to Ben Affleck...

ItDontMatterToJess: Come on, let's not say anything bad about the woman who handled a red carpet-attack from Gary Busey with nothing but a look of sincere confusion and a smile. Congrats on finally starring in a decent movie like Juno, Jennay.

#8 - Cate Blanchett

El Duderino: Hands down, best pregnant performance of the night. Fuck Jessica Alba, she's not even really pregnant, it's all a sick joke (3rd trimester my ass).

ItDontMatterToJess: Too bad the plan to distract us from your preggers belly with the hideously overpowering colored neckline failed, Ms. Blanchett. A for effort though.

#9 and #10 - Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill

El Duderino: This act was way funnier when Danny Devito and The Governator did it in 1988.

ItDontMatterToJess: What Seth and Jonah forgot to mention was that they're trying out costumes for their next flick, Revenge of the Super Bad Jew Fros.

That is all for us.

Who were your best/worst dressed?

1 comment:

ineedone said...

1. Katherine Heigl can not present shit because shes nervous? what the hell is that shes an actor, she gets paid to do shit infront of millions of people. whatever she sucks because shes on grays anatomy.

2. Diablo Cody, fucking sweet name. I think her parents wanted her to be a stripper with that name.

3. I bet george stole something from someon real rich last night, like 1 billion dollars.

4. HOLY SHIT, look her up she is in like 5 porn movies, okay maybe not porn but its close. A+ to her for lots of full frontal.

5. i thought that was a real ghost. i was scared.

6. The Mask, thats all i am saying.

7. shes fucking ben affleck (ex. jimmy kimmel, sarah silverman)

8.umm she played bob dylan, i think i see her atoms apple.... hmmm

9. attack of the jews, go funny jews.

10. why did they forget brand renfro in the "important" people who have died? i mean his drug overdose is just as important as heath ledgers. right? oh wait no, he wasnt in batman, or brokeback mountain. now that is gay.

11. yes this is the greatest comment of all time.